


My own North Star (Oikawa x reader)

by supermelita



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, M/M, Mild Language, Other, Sad Oikawa Tooru, Sleepy Cuddles, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28040628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supermelita/pseuds/supermelita
Summary: This is just a random headcanon I just thought of and then thought that it'd be a great idea to make it a fanfic!Oikawa and y/n had been hanging out together forever but then suddenly an event occured and it ruined Oikawa's life.But just the memories of him and y/n stargazing together is basicly the only thing that's keeping him alive.Just Oikawa giving y/n appreciation :3
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/You
Kudos: 15





	My own North Star (Oikawa x reader)

**Author's Note:**

> I made the reader have they/them pronouns since i didnt want to assign gender. Just use any pronouns you'd like since y/n doesn't have an assigned gender.  
> This is my first fanfic so I hope you enjoy!  
> I'm sorry if I misgendered y/n in this fanfic, if you do find some mistakes I made or if I just used the wrong pronouns at some point just let me know!  
> I'm not very good at writing long fanfictions so this one is very short.  
> Thank you for reading this and feedback is always very well appreciated!  
> I have a great day and enjoy~! :3

From holding hands to late night cuddles, from forehead kisses to full on make-out sessions. Oikawa’s head was full of cute memories of him and Y/N. He loved everything about them, the way they look, their personality, their cute giggles and the karaoke nights they’d have together. To keep it short, Oikawa was in love. 

There was a white flash and suddenly it was the middle of the school year, on a certain day of March. Oikawa was taking his daily walk to school when suddenly he heard a voice behind him. 

“TOORU!” 

It was his best friend, Y/N from middle school. They had been hanging out forever, but Y/N was way too oblivious to realize that Oikawa had caught feelings for them since the first day they had met. 

“Hehehe what's up Y/N-chan?” He said back while looking at Y/N with loving eyes. 

“Nothing really?” They said while going to hold the tall setter's hand, a small gesture that they’d do all the time and that melted Oikawa’s heart. 

There was another flash and it they had now fast-forwarded in the future, where him and Y/N were in their early 20s. 

“Wait is this for me?” 

It was again the same soft loving voice that Oikawa always had loved, the voice of his best friend. But now they had aged, Oikawa had finally confessed and they were now together. 

“Who else would it be for darling~?” Said the brown-haired man with his usual flirty voice. 

Y/N was sitting on their couch in the living room. It was their 25th birthday and Oikawa wanted to make it extra special. 

They had gotten to the amusement park and Oikawa had won a huge teddy bear for his loving partner. To top it off, they had gotten back to their house for a cute diner, and Oikawa, since he always wanted everything to be extra special, had bought a little something that almost made Y/N tear up. 

“Its matching necklaces~!” He then said with a happy grin. 

But it wasn’t just any necklaces. Oikawa had searched through the whole internet for a pair like those. Oikawa’s was a golden chained necklace with little silver stars, it looked very pretty and Oikawa loved the style and aesthetic. Y/N’s was a silver chained necklace with little golden stars, Oikawa loved how that one looked on them too, but that wasn’t the reason he had bought the necklace for them. It was the exact same model that her late grandfather wore all the time, the grandfather that Y/N loved with all their heart. 

Y/N started tearing up. But those weren't sad tears, they were happy tears. Happy tears that showed how much they was happy for having found the love of their life. 

Then another flash occurred and they were transported one year after Oikawa had given Y/N their matching necklace. It was a late night and him and his significant other were just lying on the grass in the middle of a flower field of magenta and yellow Zinnias. The sky was pitch black and the stars were shining in the sky.  
Oikawa loved how Y/N’s face shined underneath the stars. It made their eyes sparkle and the setter found it very cute. 

The two lovebirds had been hanging out at that same spot in this same field for every night till now, for about a month and a half. This was the last night before Y/N had to go on an important business trip to for her work. Y/N was laying their head on Oikawa’s chest, while the male was softly playing with his partners hair. 

“You see that bright star over there~?” Said Oikawa with a tired but excited voice. “Thats the North star~!” 

Oikawa looked at Y/N with shimmering eyes. This was something that would occur a lot with the pair. Oikawa could go on for hours about talking for a simple subject such as aliens or just the stars and constellations, and Y/N would just listen along, captivated by their partner. Y/N gave him a quick nod, which granted the tall setter permission to go on and talk about the subject. 

“They say that if you ever get lost, you just have to look for the north star to find your way back. It’s easy to find since it's a very bright star. Thats what the sailors would use when they were out in the sea and forgot where to go. It would ground themselves. Also, the north star...” 

Oikawa could go on for hours and hours, and Y/N would only remember half of everything that would come out of his mouth. But it didn’t matter to them, since it made them happy to see Oikawa be himself. To see their boyfriend open up for a while. 

“You know darling, you’re like my North star~!” It's that sentence that brang back Y/N to reality. “Whenever I’m lost, or when I don't feel that great about myself, all I have to do is look at you and it makes me feel a thousand, yet million times better~!” Oikawa then said while letting out a small chuckle. 

It's those small things like these that made Y/N's heart melt. They knew that Oikawa was the guy to tease people all the time. But every compliment he had given Y/N, was completely genuine. Besides, his cute chuckles at the end made it ten times better. 

“You are my home Y/N, you’re everything to me. Besides, you are as stunning and shining as the North Star~! You’re like my own North star~!” 

It's those kind gestures like that. Y/N burried their face in Oikawa’s neck to hide the fact that they were extremely flustered. But Oikawa noticed, and it made him chuckle. 

“Tooru I’m going to miss you so much” Said Y/N while trying their best not to turn pink. “I just wish that I could bring you with me on my business trip, it pains me to leave you alone.” 

They paused for a second, while proceeding to looking at their tall boyfriend. 

“Just promise me to always think of me when you see the North star ok? I’ll be watching you from up there~~ And make sure to keep a big smile when you look up to the sky because I don't want to see your frowny face” They said while booping the tall man's nose. 

Suddenly there was a lot of continuous flashes. It looked like the film of an old movie cassette rewinding. 

And then all went black. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Time passed and it was now three years after Y/N had gotten on that business trip. 

Oikawa woke up in his bedrooms bed. He was sweating from head to toe and he looked like shit. His hair was messy and it looked like he hadn’t gotten sleep in the past few days, weeks, even years. Which was the truth. Oikawa couldn’t get any sleep. But even if he ever tried, he’d wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. This was usually caused because of those dreams he would have. It’d always be the same kind of dream too. It was just a succession of his best memories with Y/N. Don’t get me wrong, he loved to see Y/Ns face in his dreams. But he just missed them so much that it just hurt. 

It had been weeks, months till Oikawa had seen Y/N and it made him go crazy. He just wanted to hear their voice again, maybe hold their hand or even just look at their face. Just a hug would be great, even wonderful right now. 

Just a hug. 

Just a fucking hug. 

Thats all he wanted, to feel the warmth of his significant other. To see them melt into his arms. 

He just wanted to see them again. 

He just wanted to hear their voice again. 

But that was impossible. He could never see them again. 

He would never be able to see their face in person again, to hold their hand or to give them a hug. 

Since Y/N was dead. 

The plane they had took for their business trip had crashed while trying to get to destination, and the half of the passengers and crew members had died. Y/N was one of them. 

But at least Oikawa had Iwaizumi, his best friend was the only thing that was keeping him sane and alive. 

And those dreams that he had of them at night. At least he still knew how Y/N looked like. 

Well he had an idea of what Y/N looked like. 

But the image of his late partners face and cute features were starting to fade away from his memory. And the only thing that helped him remember their face was the stars, and the picture of Y/N that he kept in his matching necklace. 

The stars had became Oikawa’s coping mechanism to mourn over Y/Ns death. At first, he would go every night to look at the stars at him and Y/N's special spot. But then he started going once every week and then it became a once in month thing. He slowly had gotten better and better. 

Hanamaki and Matsukawa always tried to make Oikawa feel better. Try to hook him up with someone so he could get a little love and affection, since they knew that Oikawa needed love and cuddles from a significant other. But since Y/N's death, Oikawa had sworn to never love anymore, since the only person he thought he could ever love was Y/N, and Y/N only. 

Oikawa started giggling. But it wasn’t any giggle. He had completely lost his mind. If he just had told Y/N that he didn’t want them to go on that business trip. Y/N could have been saved. If he had just made another decision... If only they were still alive. 

“Come on Tooru, get your shit together. Y/N-chan would hate to see you like this” He said with a half-assed smile. 

Oikawa had chosen this day to go see the stars. And he had took a nap right before to be able to stay awake long enough. He couldn’t help himself from going only once per month anymore, because of all of those memories he dreamt of lately made him miss them more. 

He had to see them again, well, at least feel their presence. 

The man then got up and put his hair in a messy bun, with Y/Ns favorite scrunchie that they used to wear all the time. He then put on his favorite hoodie. It was Oikawa’s favorite since it smelled like Y/N. They would borrow it from him so much, that now Y/N's scent was the only thing that Oikawa could smell coming from his hoodie. 

And he couldn’t forget the necklace. Since the day he found out about their death, he had never taken it off of his neck. He would even keep it on in the shower and when he was sleeping. 

He faked a smile while checking himself in the mirror, trying his best not to start tearing up. 

“Looking good~!” He said to himself while trying his best to use his flirty and cocky tone that Y/N loved to hear. 

He was this close to break down, but he couldn’t just yet, he had to wear his prettiest expression before going to visit the place he loved so much. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Oikawa arrived to the flower field it looked exactly like every other night he had came here to see the stars. The field was full of Zinnias, magenta and yellow ones. It was Y/Ns favorite flowers, probably the reason why Oikawa loved this place so much. 

He carefully installed his blanket at the same spot that he’d usually sit in, to not affect the Zinnias all around him. 

The temperature was beautiful outside, everything was calm and there was a little cold breeze, cold enough to make him wear his hoodie. You could barely hear anything, since there wasn’t anyone around. 

The light of the moon shined perfectly on the flower field, just enough for Oikawa to see where he put his feet but still not too much so that he could still see the stars. 

Oikawa took a deep breath of the air filling the fields and absorbed the immense beauty of this special spot he once shared with his significant other. 

There was only one thing that was missing in this special moment that he treasured so much. The feeling of Y/N laying on his chest, their warmth and the smell of their cologne/perfume. 

Oikawa took a deep breath, he hated feeling like this, so vulnerable. 

Why did this have to happen. He had finally found the love of his life but they had to leave. They had to perish. Why was life so unfair. 

“Wow the stars really do look gorgeous tonight Y/N~!” He said with a giggle. “I just wish you could be here with me right now” 

With one hand, the setter took the necklace that was around his neck and slowly brang it closer to his mouth. He looked at it for a while, imagining Y/N to be the one in the necklaces place. He placed a soft kiss on the necklace, giving it all the love and affection it deserved. 

Suddenly there was another flash and Oikawa was taken back to the last memory he had of him and Y/N together under the stars. 

“I have to agree Tooru, the stars do look beautiful” 

It was Y/Ns voice, Oikawa’s favorite thing to listen to. 

“Look at the North Star~! Its shining even more tonight!” Y/N continued with a grin. 

It was taking everything in Oikawas power not to break down. Y/N looked beautiful. Prettier than ever. 

“Tooru I have a conspiracy” Y/N didn’t leave him time to answer. “What if the North star was actually just a reincarnation of someone who used to live in our world. But then when they died, they didn’t want to leave their significant other alone. So, they reincarnated as the North star to be able to watch over them like a gradian angel! And the reason why the North star shines so bright is because they’re trying to reach their significant other who’s still living in our world! To leave them a message!” 

Oikawa giggled. It's memories like these that still kept him alive. Memories like this that he just wished that he could relive over and over again. 

“Silly, you can’t reincarnate as a star. Once you see them in the sky, they’re already dead dumbass” Said Oikawa with a cocky voice. 

“YEAH, BUT WHAT IF?” Y/N responded, with an excited voice. “Whatever mister smarty pants. Even if it's not possible or not, when I die, I want to become the shiniest star in the milky way~! So that I can watch over you!” 

“The shiniest star in the milky way huh” Oikawa thought to himself. “Thats a very geeky wish Y/N” 

Oikawa closed his eyes embracing the wonderful memory of his significant other and him stargazing. When he opened his eyes again, Y/N was gone and he was sitting all alone in the Zinnia field again. 

There was a small breeze, almost like there was a ghost passing by. The necklace around Oikawa’s neck started tingling and his heart started beating faster. At that very moment, Oikawa felt very captivated to this one single star in the sky. He had never seen it before, even from all the astronomy documents he read and documentary's he watched. But even though he had no idea what that star was called, or how did it suddenly appear in the sky. He knew, exactly what and who it was. 

Oikawa stared at the star with soft eyes and a genuine smile, even though it looked like he was on the verge of tears, he felt very happy. 

“Hey Y/N-chan, looks like you’re the one watching over me now~!” 

“You're my own North star~!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Mel(author) here~!  
Thank you very much for reading it means a lot~!  
I love you all very much!<3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fanfiction!<3  
> Sorry again for not really making it that long, I will maybe work on this idea later but I just wanted to write this headcanon down so I just thought of posting it on here~!  
> If you have any feedback about this feel free to just write it in the comments!  
> Again thank you very much a great rest of your day/night/evening~!<3


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